Dear Lori and Jeff,
My marriage is deteriorating as my husband and I can’t seem to get past arguments or even minor disagreements. I’ve tried using the “I feel ___ when you ___” statements. But he still gets defensive and says since he doesn’t technically do anything “wrong” he shouldn’t have to apologize and take the blame. When I try to help him understand what he’s done, he turns it back on me, saying it was just a reaction to something I did or said. We get nowhere and eventually one of us shuts down or walks away. I want him to go to counseling to understand why he can’t apologize and learn to have more empathy for how his behavior affects me. He says he’s tired of always being labeled as the problem and that it’s not always his fault. What else can we do?
Signed, Owed An Apology
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