Wife has unrealistic financial expectations

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My wife is dead set on sending our kids to private school next year and we simply can’t afford it. When the kids were born, she chose to step away from her successful career to embrace motherhood, which I fully supported. When we both worked full time, we had a lifestyle that left neither of us wanting for much of anything. Her expectations have remained even though our income is almost halved. She has always had some level of focus on our social status and I think this school decision is just another example. Her friends’ kids go to this school, and I think she has been feeling left out. I’m not willing to go broke so she can feel socially elite. We need help talking about this without arguing every time.

Signed, Fiscally Stressed Spouse

FinancesLori KretDecember 28, 2022Aspen Relationship Institutemarriage counseling, marriage coaching, financial stress in marriage, relationship financesComment

How can I get my husband to reach higher?

Dear Jeff and Lori,

My husband and I met in college. I was always a little more career driven than he was, but we were young, and I thought he’d grow into himself more as we got older. His family is wealthy and he has never had to worry about money. We both enjoy a lifestyle with a little luxury and moved to Aspen a few years ago. I have a great job that pays well, but is also demanding, and he works odd jobs that he really enjoys. I would like to be able to work a little less and not feel the pressure of being the financial provider, but he isn’t motivated to increase his income. Instead he relies on the safety net of his parents, which he accesses in times of need. I want to share this great life with him, but am tired of having to foot the bill. How can I get him to reach a higher potential?

Sincerely, Overextended