Dear Lori and Jeff,

My wife and I struggle with who initiates sex. I used to initiate more often, but over the past six months or so, there have been multiple times when she said she wasn't in the mood. Now I find myself waiting for her to initiate so that we're doing it when she wants. She'd still like for me to initiate but I don't like being rejected so I hold back. She's assured me that nothing is wrong and she's still very attracted to me, but that sometimes she just doesn't feel like having sex. Neither of us are initiating much anymore, and our sex life seems to be in a slump. What should I do?

Signed, Initiation Hesitation

Getting in the mood is about more than sex

Dear Lori and Jeff,

When my husband and I first met, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Just a simple look from him would make me want to jump him. Fast forward two years, and I just don't have the same interest in sex anymore. We still have a "good" sex life, but I'm rarely in the mood to initiate. Usually he has to get things going. I don't understand, because I'm still incredibly attracted to my guy. He's handsome, funny and smart, and no one else even comes close to sparking my interest. I'm still young, and want to have passion in my relationship, but it feels like something just turned off. Help!

Signed, Not in the Mood

Valentine's Edition: How To Keep Passion and Connection Alive in Your Relationship

Last month, with the start of the new year, we offered a few tips and tools to strengthen the fabric of your relationship. As Valentine’s Day approaches, we invite you to enhance your bond by playing with passion.

How Can I Create a More Fulfilling Sex Life With My Partner?

Dear Jeff and Lori

My wife and I have been together for six years. I was open with her from the beginning about my high sex drive and specific interests, and was hoping over time she would come around and open up more sexually. When we have sex, it’s good and she has, from time to time, been open to trying new things. But it’s still not really what I want it to be. I’m starting to realize it bothers me more than I thought it would. I love her and don’t want to mess up the marriage by saying the wrong thing, but she’s noticing that something’s up. What should I do?

Signed, Wanting More

She Said, He Said: A Relationship advice blog written by Married, Marriage Therapists

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