Communication Challenges

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My wife and I are soon to be empty nesters and I’m worried about how our marriage will feel when the kids leave. There aren’t any major issues, but our daily communication causes concern. We do a good job of managing responsibilities together, but our interactions are often short and filled with snippy responses. It seems like we are constantly misunderstanding each other and feeling frustrated or annoyed as a result. We know we love each other. How can we start creating more ease and enjoyment when interacting?

Signed, Challenged By Communication

When is it time to get help for marriage?

Dear Lori and Jeff,

Our marriage is pretty good but we have one or two issues that keep coming up and we can’t seem to get past them. My husband insists we can figure it out on our own but I think we need to get help from a professional. When is it time to get outside support?

Signed, On The Fence

How to stop constant arguing and learn to communicate

Dear Lori and Jeff,

From the outside, it looks like my wife and I have an ideal marriage. Our friends and family often make comments about how lucky we are to still be best friends after 9 years together. We truly love, respect and appreciate each other, but behind closed doors, we’re constantly short and irritable toward one another. When we met it was a whirlwind romance that swept us both up quickly and completely. We travelled all over the world together, abandoning the lives we were living for this amazing adventure. Now that we’re a little older, we’ve both felt the urge to slow down and settle down, but without all of the stimulation and distraction we’re just getting on each other’s nerves all the time. How do we actually have the relationship everyone thinks we have?

Signed, Is Our Adventure Over?

Manage anger by being more open and vulnerable

Dear Lori and Jeff,

I’m finding that in the past several months, my fuse has gotten much shorter and I’ve been reacting to my wife with a higher level of anger and frustration than I ever have in the past. I’ve often felt like my wife can be a bit harsh and critical but I’ve always been able to deal with her comments before. Maybe it’s that we’re spending more time together because of COVID but I think it has more to do with a tipping point where I’ve just simply had enough. She says I need to get anger management help, which makes me feel like it’s all my fault. I think we need marriage counseling, which she refuses to do. What should I do?

Signed, Waning Wick

She Said, He Said: A Relationship advice blog written by Married, Marriage Therapists

Aspen Relationship Institute

Serving as relationship experts for: