Blindsided

Dear Lori and Jeff,

My wife and I have been married for six years and she recently told me she was seriously thinking about ending the relationship because I was not meeting her emotional needs. I have been trying to figure out what I did wrong as I thought our marriage was going fairly well. We definitely have our moments when we fight and don’t talk to each other for a few days but we always seem to make up and move on. I feel totally shocked by the things she’s said recently and have asked her to give me another chance. What else can I do?

Signed, Blindsided

Why stay married if spouse is not a full partner?

Dear Lori and Jeff,

I still love my husband but things are going to have to change soon or I don’t think I’ll be able to keep going. While he makes a good living and works hard at his job, that’s about all he does to contribute to the family. I also have a full time job making almost the same as him but I take care of most of the household responsibilities and organize our kids' lives. He constantly finds free time to go skiing or bike riding or be with his friends. I’ve started to ask myself why I stay married when I have a spouse who isn’t really a partner. Can men like my husband really change?

Signed, Full Plate

Hurt by wife’s emotional affair

Dear Lori and Jeff,

Recently I found out that my wife has been having an emotional affair. She had been going through some tough times with the passing of her mom. I’ll admit that I wasn’t really available to support her through it as I travel a lot for my job. She has plenty of girlfriends to rely on so I never thought she’d get emotionally attached to another man. I know I need to work on showing up for her more but I’m angry that she didn’t tell me how bad it was getting for her. If she had said she was this unhappy, I would have figured out how to create more time for her. Now I don’t know how we get back from here. We both want our marriage to work but she’s resentful and I’m having a hard time trusting her. She said she has broken off communication with the other guy, but short of constantly checking her phone, I’m not sure how I can believe her.

Sincerely, Trust Busted

She Said, He Said: A Relationship advice blog written by Married, Marriage Therapists

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